Hello Anne

 I just want to thank you for opening my eyes to a better way of discipline for my children.  I have two boys (16 and 5) and about 2 years ago my eldest was diagnosed with ADD.  Only now do I realise that most of his behavioural issues in his younger years were because of the ADD and also a result of ineffective discipline, which made him very rebellious, contributed to his low self esteem and caused a huge gap in our relationship.  About a year ago I bought your book Teenagers need Boundaries and it was an eye opener.  I immediately realised where we (and his teachers) went wrong and your book gave me new tools to replace the old ineffective methods.  Gone are the days arguing about rules, what he may or may not do.  Gone are the hours spent reasoning, pleading, screaming, shouting and gone is the physical punishment.  No, hes still no angel and he still tests the boundaries, but he now respects them and when he oversteps the boundaries, he does not rebel when the agreed consequence is applied.  And I understand him so much better than before.  There is more calm in our household and our relationship with him has improved so much, it is almost unbelievable.  His self esteem is improving and he seems happier in general and more resilient

This was a total mind-shift for me and when I look back, I realise that the old methods were a lazy parents tools, ineffective and causing more problems than solutions.  The effect of effective and positive discipline is continuous improvement in the parent-child relationship and better behaviour from the child.  I feel more confident in setting the boundaries and negotiating.  I also feel less responsible and guilty when my child misbehaves or oversteps a boundary, because I have learned that in the end he is the one deciding how he wants to behave, and that he will be the one who has to accept the consequences for his behaviour.  I think many parents take their childrens behaviour much too personally, so they want to be overly strict in the discipline, causing them to use excessive punishment, to have absolute control over their children (so as not to embarrass them with their misbehaviour).  The child then learns to behave when the parent is around and misbehaves when they are not, or they learn to hide what they are doing wrong more effectively so that they wont be caught out by their parents.

My biggest frustration at this point is that there are still many, many teachers using ineffective methods, like screaming and shouting at children, saying the meanest things to learners, bordering on being verbally abusive.  And those same teachers blaming lack of discipline at the home (aka lack of smacking) for the rebellion and lack of respect their methods evoke from teens. 

Thank you so much!!!  You have changed my life and you have changed the future for my two boys!



30th November 2011

To Dearest Anne,

I am so glad that I managed to get an email address for you, because I really really wanted an opportunity to thank you!!
I have a 23 month old son, and your book changed my life! In changing my life it changed the lives of my son, husband, dogs, fish, friends, patients (I am a physio), parents and the list goes on!!!
I am the kind of person who generally reads my way out of a problem, in my opinion that there is nothing you can’t google, and therefore if you can read you can resolve!!!
My problem was that although I didn’t know what to do with my son’s increasingly challenging behavior, I knew what I didn’t want to do!!… And that was mainly what I found!!
Luckily (..for everyone!) I came across your books and they immediately made sense to me.
A few years ago when I thought about being a mother I pictured myself to be a natural! My mom was (and still is!), so I figured I had both the gene’s and the example! I was wrong!! Matthew was a colicky baby and I quickly realized that this was going to be the most amazing but toughest role I would ever play!
As he has grown, the challenge increased and bad behavior made colic and cramps look easy! In moments of absolute desperation I found myself so disappointed in how I was reacting to this beautiful little boy, but just didn’t know how to “bridge the gap”!
Matthew is a very intelligent little man (sure everyone thinks that of their own child!), he has an amazing vocabulary (he sings the first 4 lines of the national anthem better than most adults!), can count to 14 and he has fantastic reasoning skills. This all made behavior struggles more complicated.
I started feeling like I was letting him down, and started feeling very negative about parenting, and this started affecting every area of my life.
…..then I found your book!! It is the most complete, positive, and thorough approach to parenting and it all makes perfect sense!! It thought me how to think, and therefore how to react appropriately in all the crazy moments!
We are all so happy, Matthew feels understood and respected and it shows in his behavior! I bought a copy for all my friends and recommend it to everyone!
Being a parent is the biggest blessing and privilege, we owe it to our little people to get it right!! (or at least as close as possible!!)
Thank you for your book, it really did change our lives!


9th January 2012

Dear Anne
We read your first book just after we had our little girl and we agreed with your philosophies regarding children.  Now she’s a toddler and we’ve read a few books on toddlers but the advice in most of them is quite shocking.  So we “googled” you and discovered that you also have a toddler book.
I’ve been to a few bookshops and none have stock, so we thought that since we’d have to wait anyway, we’d get the book directly from you.
Please advise on the procedure for us to purchase a copy of “Toddlers need Boundaries”.
10th January 2012